Supporting your Partner during Abortion Procedure

Termination of pregnancy is an unavoidably painful process for women and poses great mental challenges too. There surely is lack of a clear role for men in the decision of an abortion. However, there is a lot you can do to help both of you get over it.

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Being a man is confusing:


A plethora of emotions run through your mind when she chooses to end her pregnancy. You may be guilty of giving rise to a trouble, anxious or just confused if you really influenced the decision. Ask yourself these questions-

     Did you force her into sexual intercourse?
     Did you act in a certain way that made her choose abortion?

If the answers to them were ‘No’, you aren’t the only one responsible. You both are equal parents to the aborted fetus and are in this situation together.

A man undergoing trauma in such a case is the least understood. It is because our society expects them to stay courageous however bad the situation is. Remember, all you need to do is be clear about how you feel. Grieving is a normal and healthy response but it is best to not let it affect any important decisions made.

What you should do:

Speak up, go tell her how you feel

Every woman should be allowed to choose what her body goes through. But knowing how you feel helps reinforce her choices. Tell her you’re guilty or tell her that you want the baby but communication is key! Be together in the plan that you two make.

Show her you care:

Be supportive. Tell her that you care. Check on her by asking her how she feels from time to time because she is indeed going through a tough time. Accompany her to the doctor so she doesn’t feel alone.
Go through the abortion care reading material to help her better with her diet and symptoms. Have medication available for pain and other side-effects if possible.  

Share the costs:

The time of detection of pregnancy determines the ways of pregnancy termination available. However, privacy is highly regarded these days and abortion drugs are made available on the internet. She can also choose to take misoprostol at the clinic and buy mifepristone pills online beforehand to use at home. Even if she has to undergo surgery, you can contribute to paying the bill.

Talk to someone for support:

There are many counselors who can help you through the whole process. Visit an expert together to make informed choices at every stage.
You might also opt for advice from an elder in the family if that is more comfortable. It’s a reminder that you don’t have to go through this alone.

The Don'ts


     Don’t ghost!
Do your research and learn to face the situation. There are several methods, both surgical and non-invasive, to end a pregnancy. Take it as a learning experience and opt for safe sexual intercourse in the future.

     Don’t treat the experience as shameful
There are some inexplicable differences in the man’s and woman’s perspective of an abortion. But, abortion is a moral and practical solution to avoid certain circumstances.

     Don’t let your opinions or emotions dominate
There are some inevitable changes occurring in a woman’s body during an abortion. Mental stress with all those hormonal changes going on is difficult to deal with. Help her get through it and don’t force your opinions on her. Rather, take care of each other.


I have also suggested benefits on Generic RU 486 on my previous blog. Please read it for more details. 

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